Letting People Go: How to Fire Employees with True Compassion

Letting someone go is never easy. This guide shows you how to fire employees with the compassion and professionalism that everyone deserves.

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Knowing how to fire employees with decency is a critical, yet often dreaded, leadership skill. Let’s be honest, the thought alone can be gut-wrenching, and it’s a moment no manager looks forward to.

Nevertheless, when the time comes, approaching the situation with a clear plan and genuine empathy makes a world of difference.

You’re not merely about ticking boxes for a legal dismissal, but also honouring the person’s contribution and treating them with respect during a vulnerable time.

For entrepreneurs striving to build strong, positive teams, getting this right is paramount. This article will guide you through the process, ensuring you can handle this difficult task with professional integrity and kindness.

A man in a white shirt rests his head in his hands, looking distressed, next to a cardboard box filled with personal office items and a "LAYOFF NOTICE" on a clipboard. This image powerfully conveys the emotional impact of job loss, underscoring the importance of a compassionate approach when considering how to fire employees.

The Foundation: Why a Compassionate Approach Matters

Before we dive into the practical steps, it’s vital to understand why compassion is not a “soft” skill here but a business necessity. The way you handle departures sends a powerful message to everyone connected with your organisation.

  • Your Remaining Team: Your current employees are watching. When they see a colleague treated with dignity, it reinforces their trust in leadership and the company’s values. Conversely, a cold or poorly handled dismissal can create a culture of fear, damaging morale and productivity.
  • Your Employer Brand: In the digital age, news travels fast. Former employees can share their experiences on platforms like Kununu or Glassdoor. A compassionate process protects your reputation, ensuring you remain an attractive place to work for future talent.
  • Legal and Financial Risks: A respectful process can significantly reduce the likelihood of wrongful termination lawsuits. When people feel they have been treated fairly, even in a difficult situation, they are less likely to seek legal recourse.

Ultimately, treating people well is simply the right thing to do. The person you are letting go is a human being facing a significant life event. Your empathy matters.

Before the Meeting: Preparation is Everything

You should never walk into a termination meeting unprepared. Thorough preparation ensures the process is smooth, professional, and legally sound. Rushing this stage is a recipe for disaster.

First and foremost, you must operate within the bounds of German labour law, which offers strong protection for employees.

While this article does not constitute legal advice, you should be familiar with concepts like the Protection Against Unfair Dismissal Act (Kündigungsschutzgesetz).

Key Legal QuestionWhy It’s Crucial for a Fair Dismissal
What is the legal basis?Your reason must be valid (conduct, capability, or operational). This is the foundation of a legally defensible termination.
Are notice periods correct?You must adhere to the contractual or statutory notice periods (Kündigungsfristen) to avoid legal challenges for unfair dismissal.
Is there clear documentation?For performance or conduct issues, a consistent paper trail of reviews and discussions provides essential evidence of a fair process.
Have warnings been issued?For many conduct-related issues, a formal warning (Abmahnung) is a required legal prerequisite before you can terminate employment.

Therefore, always consult with a German employment lawyer to ensure your reasons are valid, and your process is compliant. This is a non-negotiable step to protect your business.

Gather All Necessary Documentation

Organise a file containing all relevant information. This includes:

  • The employee’s contract.
  • Records of performance reviews.
  • Documented evidence of issues (e.g., missed deadlines, written warnings).
  • Any correspondence related to performance improvement plans.

When preparing to fire employees, you will also need to prepare the termination letter (Kündigungsschreiben). This formal document must be physically signed and handed to the employee. Moreover, it should clearly state the decision and the end date of their employment.

Plan the Logistics

Think through the practical details of the meeting itself.

  • Who should be there? The meeting should be conducted by the employee’s direct manager, accompanied by a representative from HR or another senior leader. This ensures you have a witness and support.
  • Where should it happen? Choose a private, neutral space like a conference room where you will not be interrupted. Avoid conducting the meeting in an open-plan office or a public place.
  • When is the best time? There’s no perfect time, but many experts advise against doing it on a Friday afternoon. This can leave the person feeling isolated over the weekend. So, a mid-week, mid-morning meeting allows them to begin processing the news and start making calls without the entire day or weekend looming.
  • How will they leave? Consider how the employee will collect their personal belongings. It is often most respectful to allow them to do this after hours to avoid a “walk of shame” in front of their colleagues.

Prepare Your Script

This is not about reading from a piece of paper like a robot. Rather, it’s about having your key talking points clear in your mind so you don’t get flustered or say something inappropriate.

Hence, your script should cover the essential message you need to deliver clearly and concisely.

A person in a white shirt holds a cardboard box filled with personal belongings, facing another person in a white shirt who is seated at a desk. This image depicts the formal termination meeting, a critical step in understanding how to fire employees professionally and respectfully.

How to Fire Employees: Conducting the Termination Meeting

This is the most difficult part of the process. Your goal is to be clear, compassionate, and firm. The meeting should be brief—ideally no longer than 15 minutes.

Get Straight to the Point

Resist the urge to start with small talk about the weather or last night’s football match. It feels disingenuous and only prolongs the anxiety. Open the meeting and deliver the core message within the first 60 seconds.

Example: “Thank you for coming in. I’ve asked you here for a difficult reason. I’m afraid we have to end your employment with the company, effective [Date].”

State the Company’s Decision Clearly

Use direct and unambiguous language, so, avoid using vague euphemisms like “we’re going to have to part ways” or “we think this isn’t working out.” This can create false hope or confusion.

State the reason for the termination simply and without excessive detail. If it’s for performance, you can say: “As we’ve discussed in your recent performance reviews, you have not been able to meet the core requirements of the role, and unfortunately, we haven’t seen the necessary improvement.”

If it’s a case of laying off employees for economic reasons, be honest: “Due to a significant restructuring of the business, we have made the difficult decision to eliminate this position.”

This is not a debate. State the decision as final.

Explain the Next Steps

When you fire employees, immediately after delivering the news, transition to the practical details. This helps ground the conversation and gives the person something concrete to focus on. Explain what will happen with:

  • Their final pay.
  • Unused holiday time.
  • The official termination letter you are handing them.
  • The return of company property (laptop, phone, keys).
  • Any information about severance or support you may be offering.

Remember to have all this information printed out for them to take away, as they will likely not remember everything you say.

Listen and Show Empathy

After you have delivered the message and the practical details, stop talking. Give the person space to react, since reactions can range from silence and shock to anger or tears. Your role is to listen patiently and remain calm.

Use empathetic but non-committal phrases like, “I understand this is difficult news,” or “I hear your frustration.”

Do not get drawn into an argument or a negotiation. Do not apologise for the decision. You can express regret for the situation, but the decision itself is final.

What Not to Say

  • “I know how you feel.” You don’t. This can sound patronising.
  • “This is harder for me than it is for you.” It isn’t. Never make the conversation about you.
  • “Look at this as an opportunity.” It’s far too soon for them to see any silver lining.
  • Blaming others. Do not say, “Well, it was the board’s decision, not mine.” As a leader, you must own the decision.

The Aftermath: Managing the Transition

Your responsibility does not end when you fire employees, and they walk out the door. How you manage the aftermath is crucial for your remaining team and the departing employee.

The Offboarding Process

Ensure the offboarding goes smoothly and respectfully. Hence, have a clear checklist for returning company property and finalising paperwork.

If you promised to provide a reference letter (Arbeitszeugnis), which is standard in Germany, ensure it is prepared promptly and fairly.

Communicating with Your Remaining Team

Your team will know something has happened. Silence breeds rumours and anxiety. You need to communicate with them quickly, but you must also respect the departing employee’s privacy.

Gather your team and inform them that the person is no longer with the company. You can say something like: “I’m writing to let you know that [Employee’s Name]’s last day with us was today. We wish them the best in their future endeavours, and thank them for their contributions.”

You can then briefly explain how their responsibilities will be managed in the interim. Do not share the details of why the person was fired. This is unprofessional and a breach of confidence.

Reassure your team about the future and make yourself available to answer any questions they may have about their own roles and the team’s direction.

A respectful departure is key. Now, learn how to fire up your team and lead them forward.

FIRE UP YOUR TEAM

You will remain on this site

The Final Handshake: A Mark of True Leadership

Mastering how to fire employees is less about the act itself and more about upholding your company’s values, even on the hardest days.

Ultimately, a well-managed process demonstrates respect not only for the departing individual but also for your remaining team.

Therefore, thorough preparation and clear communication are your greatest tools. By leading with professional integrity, you ensure that even a difficult ending reinforces a culture of dignity and trust within your organisation, which is the hallmark of genuine leadership.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I handle this if the employee works remotely?

The process must still be personal and secure. Conduct the meeting via a video call with HR present—never by email or text.

Should HR always be present in the meeting?

Yes, it is highly recommended. An HR representative acts as a witness, ensures the process is followed correctly, and can help manage technical questions or a tense situation.

How do I handle a very emotional reaction, like crying or yelling?

Remain calm, patient, and listen without arguing. Acknowledge their feelings, but calmly reiterate that the decision is final. Do not raise your voice or become defensive.

Can I give a positive reference to an employee I’ve fired?

You are required to provide a reference letter (Arbeitszeugnis) that is both truthful and benevolent. Unless the dismissal was for gross misconduct, the reference should be fair and not intentionally harm their future career prospects.

Eric Krause


Graduated as a Biotechnological Engineer with an emphasis on genetics and machine learning, he also has nearly a decade of experience teaching English.

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